Simple Sunday

I recently wrote a post titled I Am A Simple Woman, and I got a rather unexpected response. I wrote that post late at night, while Chris lay snoring next to me, and it began rather lighthearted and, what else, simple. It sort of developed itself into something I hadn't originally intended, but was happy with nonetheless. Yet, in finishing writing, I felt it was slightly random, somewhat personal (sort of strange for me), thoughtful, yet, I really had no idea what other's responses would be... surely, I could never have predicted in my wildest dreams, the responses and comments I received. I have thought a lot about that post because of the unexpected turnout and have decided to do a followup, which could probably never have the same impact or surprise of the original post, but could develop into a regular sharing of my random thoughts. So, here are my simple, random thoughts for this Simple Sunday.

Last night, Chris and I had a rather long discussion about all sorts of things, but a couple revelations I thought I might share. We joke that I live in my own little world. We haven't had TV (in the traditional sense) for awhile now, so he jokes that I never really know what's going on. Since he works with a bank, he's keenly aware of the financial crisis and many of the details, and minute by minute changes and affects. He called me to tell me about one of the first big market dives, "Are you watching the news?" What do you mean our market is collapsing? I am shopping for Claire's birthday party. The simple part of me is much more concerned with the changes and needs in the Maloy world. (That's not to say that I'm not concerned about the world around me, I'm concerned about our financial crisis, political changes, our environment, the abominable way women, and children are treated in other parts of the world, among other things- I'm just not obsessed with them). This may make me sound selfish but in keeping with a time and a season for all things- I have to be more concerned right now with my kids education, my family's happiness, and well being. I have to concern myself mostly with how all these issues affect me and my family. And other than being informed, I have better things to stress and obsess about.

Chris has taken it upon himself to educate me about the financial crisis, and frankly, the more I find out, the more I'm appalled! But still, I guess I shouldn't be all that surprised, because it all comes back to greed. We live in an age of entitlement. People think they deserve everything they want, whether or not they have worked or made the effort to actually earn it, let alone afford it. Proof of that observation is evident everywhere we look- and it's very obvious now that we are smack in the middle of a financial credit crisis. People think they deserve a house, simply because it is offered to them, what do you mean they have to pay that outrageous mortgage? It is absolutely crazy to me that people who couldn't afford a used car payment, could be approved for a $500,000 mortgage (or more)! We live in a credit society that will enjoy the good life now, and somehow find a way to pay for it later, possibly with even more debt. Young people feel that they need the same cars, houses, furniture, and everything else their parents have, and have given them, without the acknowledgment that it took their parents time to work, and earn, and build to where they are. Our children are entitled to the latest toys, clothes, video games- and if Mom and Dad don't deliver- watch out! People want what they seemingly think everyone else has- the new boat, the new SUV, the new house, the new "toys", the new whatever?! And they will max out their credit to get what they want, and now, they are surprised that the bubble has burst, and are too blind to recognize the greed that drove this whole mess in the first place (and that greed goes from the very bottom to the very top). And another problem with this mindset of acquisition, and entitlement, is that they will never truly find peace or happiness, because happiness doesn't come with getting what they wanted, because they still want more, and there will always be more, and they will never be satisfied. And everyone was so busy acquiring what they wanted, that they never stopped to analyze what they actually needed.

Humans actually have only a few basic needs- water, food, shelter... and human connection. People need human connection. They need to be touched, they need to be validated. And yes, those are part of those basic needs for survival. There have been studies in Romanian orphanages where babies have actually ceased to live simply because they were denied human touch. We actually NEED to be loved, hugged, caressed, and cared for to thrive. And beyond the simple power of basic human touch, we need validation. We need to feel loved, accepted, understood- validation that our existence is worthwhile and meaningful. We are social creatures, we need family and friends. We need to feel content with ourselves, and the people who surround us. And we all have individual needs that protect our sanity, and I'll say it, happiness, in this world. So, in my discussion with Chris last night, here was my revelation (not new by any means). And I know this will surprise many of you, but I need social interaction! I need to talk, and laugh. I need to spend time with family and friends. I need attention. I need to feel listened to, and understood. I need to feel cared about, and appreciated. I need to have fun. And yet, while they may be beyond our basic human needs for survival, I still think those are pretty simple needs. And more than that, those needs are probably not exclusive to just me.

Chris made the comment today that this financial crisis is going to require people to go back to the basics: budgeting, clipping coupons, making a meal vs. eating out, finding simpler and cheaper entertainment, watching their finances, saving, spending time with family and friends. I said, "Oh, they are going to live like us?" He laughed and said, "Yeah, isn't it great?" Sonny, Chris, and I were just discussing how the changes that are coming are going to be the hardest felt by the ones who have to make the most personal changes, for example: planning, saving, budgeting, being thrifty, and resourceful. He said this is going to change everyone's thinking, spending, and very way of life. But if it means going back to some of those basics, maybe that side effect isn't such a terrible thing afterall?

So, what do you want and what do you need?